Guilt: Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Managing the emotions that come along with living with chronic illness is not a straightforward process. Once you’ve done some work – gone to therapy, worked through some of your issues – it’s tempting to think you’ve achieved a solid milestone and will only move forward from there. But it just doesn’t work that way.

Though I’m dealing much better with my feelings of guilt today than I was five years ago, I’m perhaps not doing as well with them as I was six or nine months ago. That’s a hard thing to admit.

I feel guilty about not being able to do very much around the house. It’s not as organized or clean as I’d like, and I put the blame for that on myself.

I feel guilty for taking a nice vacation when I can’t even support myself financially. Even though I know it was important for us to get away together, I don’t feel like I deserve anything good or special like that in my life. What have I done to earn it?

I feel guilty for watching so much TV. Nevermind the fact that I read a lot and for the most part take care of everything that absolutely must be done. Would a person of worth spend this much time in front of the boob tube? Probably not.

Even though I feel great about being able to contribute a bit toward our household expenses every month, I still feel guilty about not working and earning a real adult professional salary like I once did. I don’t blame myself for that like I used to, though. So that’s a definite improvement.

What do you feel guilty about? Has it become any easier for you to deal with? If so, how?

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DISCLAIMER: Nothing on this site constitutes medical or legal advice. I am a patient who is engaged and educated and enjoys sharing my experiences and news about migraines, pain, and depression. Please consult your own health care providers for advice on your unique situation.